Roy's partially-explicit funny text messages

(541):

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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(443):

We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
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(910):

wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
(910):

IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
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(913):

Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
(1-913):

You're the best girlfriend ever.
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(757):

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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(484):

Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
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(516):

Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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(404):

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
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(401):

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?




I would just give you the URL, but then you'd go "oh, just a website, I'll check it out later"
5 yeara later, you'd finally see it from some random dude.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com